The grey cells

In his spare time, Phineas pretends to be Hercule Poirot:

Phineas Poirot

To help Phineas put his own spin on the little Belgian detective, he adjusts the scripts a little:

FROM….

• Lemon: It’s only been three weeks since your last case.
• Hercule Poirot: Three weeks is an eternity to a brain like mine. Without the constant stimulation, my little grey cells will starve and die.

TO…….

• Mama: It’s only been three minutes since your last jiggy.
• Phineas Poirot: Three minutes is an eternity to a brain like mine. Without the constant stimulation, my little grey cells will starve and die.

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FROM…. 

• Hercule Poirot: This is not like the grey cells, Hastings! I have given them every chance. They have been cosseted, I have slept to allow them to do their work, I have eaten fish for breakfast. Result: Nothing!

TO…….

• Phineas Poirot: This is not like the grey cells, Caggers! I have given them every chance. They have been cosseted, I have jiggy-jiggied to allow them to do their work, I have eaten regurgitated seed for breakfast. Result: Nothing!

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FROM….

• Hercule Poirot: Hastings, let us be calm. Let us reason. Let us… Enfant, let us employ the little grey cells.

TO…….

• Phineas Poirot: Cagneus, let us regurgitate. Let us jiggy. Let us… Enfant, let us jiggle the little grey cells.

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FROM….

• Hercule Poirot: Ah, Hastings, the grey cells, sometimes they work even better in the dark.

TO…….

• Phineas Poirot: Ah, Bezooks, the grey cells, sometimes they work even better on the ttmss swing.

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FROM….

• Chief Inspector Japp: Everyone knows Pengelley did it.
• Hercule Poirot: Everyone does not use the grey cells, I think.

TO…….

• Chief Inspector Cagney: Everyone knows Bezukhov did it.
• Phineas Poirot: Everyone does not use the grey cells, I think.

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