Puddings & Toyboys

A blog about my beautiful budgies.

Daily Archives: 20 September 2016

The last weeks and days in the life of Phineas (3 of 3)

So Phineas was due to have surgery in the afternoon of the 6th September.  I had left him at the hospital at around 14:30.  At half past five, I still had not heard anything, so I rang the vets.  I was told he had not had the surgery yet.  It was possible it would not be done until the following day.

In a later phone call they suggested that he stay overnight at the hospital (free of charge) to minimise stress & he would be seen in the morning.  I asked if I could visit him that evening but they said all their visiting rooms were booked.  Because I could not see him, I rang several times to check he was okay.  Each time, I was told he was settled & that he was ‘absolutely fine’.  I cannot say that *I* was feeling ‘absolutely fine’.  I was in bits.

Last photo of Phineas

Last photo of Phineas

The next morning, I was told he was ‘bright & happy’.  I cannot say that even this comforted me as it did not sound like Phineas.  I appreciate that strangers will not know him as I do, but *I* would have felt ‘bright & happy’ had they told me he was ‘grumpy & sulky’ – a far more normal description, particularly under the circumstances.  They also told me that he would be seen at 1pm the earliest.  So, another long wait…

I will not log the details of what happened next as they are still too upsetting for me to share.  In short, during the surgery, Phineas went into cardiac arrest & they could not revive him.

It was several days before I could even discuss the surgery with the vet.  It turned out to be very complicated.  She was confident that Phineas had an aggressive cancerous growth that in turn had caused a hernia.  It was not a relatively simple case of ‘removal of mass’ (as expected), because his abdominal contents had spilled out & were entwined in the growth.  How my poor boy even functioned was a mystery.  It is likely that had he survived the surgery, he would not have had long afterwards.

Right now, I find no comfort in anything.  All I know is that he was in good spirits when I left him.  I wish *I* had not left him.  And I dearly wish he was still here.  I know from experience that time will gradually heal these feelings…. but in the meantime, I am desperately sad & missing my wonderful little friend.

 

 

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